Top 10 rules for food hall etiquette

2. Those yet to find a table can be as bad; whole families hovering passive-aggressively behind you as you eat or, even, nudging you to ask ‘are you off?’. Nothing makes me linger over my pint more. If you are looking for a seat, circulate. Relax, rather than projecting your frustration on those trying to enjoy their food.

3. Long queues kill the vibe. Be decisive when ordering. Read the menu first. Don’t stand there quizzing staff for pointers, tasting endless beers or run back to your table to renegotiate an order. People behind you will be staring daggers into the back of your skull.

4. Exponents of European-style family dining, many food halls have play areas or outdoor spaces. That is where your kids should play. Not under my feet at the bar or between the tables as the runners try to deliver food. This is not a crèche. See also, dogs.

5. Conducting a bellowed conversation over 10 tables about how many chips ‘we’ need… is not on.

6. This is not a restaurant. The runners are busy. If you cannot get someone’s attention to get water, napkins, ketchup etc. then, rather than getting irate, help yourself at the stations dotted around. Again, that is why your main is £11 not £18. Muck in.

7. Do not leave carnage in your wake. Use any bins. If you smash a glass, tell someone. If you spill food, mop up. No-one expects a forensic clean-down, but consider the food hall a lightly staffed social experiment. If we don’t respect it, it will become a dump.

8. At communal tables, a little pass-the-salt small-talk with your neighbours is inevitable. But read the signals. People are here to see friends, not make new ones. Pass the time, don’t pester. Gobby bores who subject others to their endless opinions would, ideally, be barred. On that front…

9. The golden rule about what people are eating around you is to mind your own business. Sceptically asking strangers, ‘what is that?’; telling them what they should have ordered; or how ‘bloody steak turns my stomach’ is a no-no. There is no polite response.

10. Despite their adventurous rep, people often opt for familiar pizzas and burgers in food halls. They’re quick, easy options in busy places when the choice is overwhelming. Fight that urge. Calmly consider all the menus and show gastro-solidarity with kitchens doing arepa, chaat or ceviche. Otherwise, food halls will become as bland as the high streets they should be an alternative to.