“Women have always been cooks, but never chefs” – Asma Khan on the power of food and fighting for change

Cooking is about faith

Asma’s love of food is deeply personal, rooted in tradition and intuition. Cooking a biryani, for example, is not just about following a recipe – it’s about trust. “The whole process takes six to eight hours. How long you cook it for really is guesswork and intuition. I mean, it runs on faith.”

She describes the moment when she knows the dish is ready. “You’re not waiting for noise. You’re waiting for silence.” She laughs at the memory of others doubting her method. “People say, ‘We can’t hear anything now.’ But I can. I can hear the bubbles somewhere, deep in that pot, sealed up. And then I wait for the silence.”

For Asma, the act of cooking is filled with patience and love: “I believe that the love and patience I put into the biryani will mean that it works.”

Women have always been cooks, but never chefs

At Darjeeling Express, Asma’s team is made up entirely of women – grandmothers and mothers, home cooks who have never worked in professional kitchens. “In every home, from Afghanistan to Sri Lanka, it’s a woman cooking. But in restaurants? The kitchens are dominated by men.”

She challenges the outdated idea that women should only cook for free, within their own families. “They think no one should pay us for our food. That food should only be given out of love. But why should I only be doing one? Why can’t I cook for love and for money?”

The restaurant’s kitchen is unlike any other. There is no hierarchy, no shouting, no rigid structures. Instead, the team works together, supporting one another. And when the pressure is on, they sing. “I love that moment when they take a breath in for the chorus and then everyone sings at the same time. This is the power of a collective of women.”

We eat last, we eat least

For Asma, cooking is not just about serving delicious food – it’s about reclaiming space. She speaks about how, in many cultures, women are expected to serve men first, eating only what is left behind. “Women eat last. We eat least. Our food is very patriarchal.”

She recalls how some of the women in her kitchen grew up eating only the scraps. “They had only ever tasted the gravy of a dish, or been given the bones to suck on. The prized pieces of meat were always for the men.”

At Darjeeling Express, things are different. The dishes they cook are a celebration of women’s stories, their struggles, and their strength. “We make dishes that are symbolic for us, that have significance to our story. This is not just a kitchen. This is a battle cry for justice.”

Standing on the shoulders of giants

Asma’s journey into food was not a straightforward one. She has a PhD in constitutional law and never imagined a career as a chef. “I never thought there was space at the table for someone like me. There was Madhur Jaffrey, and then there was no one.”

For years, she watched as male chefs dominated the food world, many of them trained in culinary schools rather than at home.

“They learned in stainless steel empires, not from their grandmothers. They didn’t stand there slowly roasting spices, watching, learning by instinct. They learned food as a profession.”

She was repeatedly told that her restaurant would fail. “Even female chefs told me I needed professional men in my kitchen. But I knew I had to succeed – not for myself, but for the women who had been invisible for so long.”

Her success, she insists, is not just hers. “I stand on the shoulders of giants. The women who cooked for generations without recognition. I will not be the last. I am clearing the path for the next.”

Food should be cooked with love, patience and respect

When asked what good food means to her, Asma’s answer is simple. “It’s food that is cooked with love, patience and respect. You don’t need to rush. Give it time.”

For her, cooking is an act of care – not just for others, but for yourself. She encourages people to cook even when they are alone. “I hear this all the time: ‘Oh, I’m by myself, so I won’t bother.’ No. Cook for yourself. You are worth it.”

Her latest book, Monsoon, is an extension of this philosophy. It celebrates seasonal produce and simple home cooking. “This isn’t restaurant food. It’s real food. The kind of food you make at home, using what’s in your fridge. You don’t need expensive ingredients flown across the world, wrapped in cling film. Use what is around you.”

Her passion for food is matched only by her passion for justice. “Every meal is a story. Every dish we cook is a way of saying – we are here, we matter, we always have.”