Close Connections: Laura Dudley - sharing recipes got me through the hard times

“It took a long time to be diagnosed with MS – an autoimmune disorder affecting my spinal cord, brain and nerves – but once I began the monthly treatments, I hit a turning point on multiple levels.

“Until then, there’d been a sense that because people couldn’t see my illness, they didn’t believe it was real. But, at the hospital, seeing the same friendly nurses, many of whom specialised in helping MS patients as well as patients like me, I found the community I needed to come to terms with what had been happening to me, get back on my feet and do the things I loved, like cooking.”

At UHC, Laura, 32, made friends with nurses Faye, Michelle and Catherine, who each knew of her aversion to needles.

“As soon as I sat down, Faye would say, ‘So what are you going to be cooking from the magazine this week?’ I’d flick through and show her and the others, and they’d ‘umm’ and ‘ahh’ at all the right points. But, they weren’t just appeasing me – they were genuinely interested. We’d talk about the air fryers featured in the magazine and new recipes I’d cooked, such as the lemony prawn & courgette tagliatelle, honey soy chicken and yakatori chicken.

“I found myself looking forward to baking my brownies (using a classic Good Food recipe I’d loved for years) for the wonderful team and patients, to thank them all for being there for me and to give us all a little something to look forward to.

“We became like a little family, and having friends there took the edge off having the invasive treatment, which sometimes caused difficult physical side effects. It takes a lot out of you emotionally, knowing you’re going back for more of the same every month, but having people who cared for me, and who I cared about, really helped.”

Laura became close with one patient who was on the same treatment schedule as herself. “She was lovely, and it was so nice to speak to somebody who was going through the same thing as me. Outside of the hospital, when I’d say I’m tired, having a bad week or I’m not up for being in the kitchen, people didn’t really get how I felt, as the level of fatigue with MS is very different.

“But she just got it. We often chatted about normal things too, but having that dialogue with someone who was looking at life through an MS lens, who understood the limitations I was facing and had helpful suggestions for how to manage certain things, was exactly the support I needed.”

Last Christmas, Laura suffered a relapse, shortly after tying the knot with husband, Chris. “I was very poorly and the timing was rubbish. Christmas has always been a special family time where my mum joins us and Chris’s family for a special dinner. I didn’t know how I’d manage any socialising, but the nurses and my friends in the MS team helped, organising appointments with consultants and getting me medication to calm the flare.”

The previous Christmas, Laura, other patients and the infusion therapy team had enjoyed a festive picnic on the ward. “I brought my famous brownies and sausage rolls, we all wore Christmas headbands and silly jumpers, and it was a really nice day. It was helpful to have others who I could discuss Christmas plans with and hear suggestions for managing MS during the busy festive season.”

This Christmas, Laura and her mum will be with Chris and his family to cook their favourite dishes and remember the loved ones who are no longer here. Laura says, “I lost my dad in 2013, and he was always the big foodie in our house. He loved experimenting in the kitchen and was the one who blew up the kitchen with saucepans. Chris says I’m the same. I’m hoping this December I’ll be in the kitchen, channelling my dad and baking for my hospital friends and family.”

See Laura’s chicken and chorizo pie-pan.

This feature originally appeared in Good Food Magazine, November 2022.